I Am The Body Beautiful

Yes, I'm finally feeling the need to be doing the gym thing. I'm joining California Fitness this month.

The last time I was in a gym, it was 5 years ago. I went for a while and it bored the shit out of me. I dont understand how people could become interested in something so monotonous. Bah, I'd rather sit home and read a book. I wasnt really feeling the need to go even though I've always been rather pudgy.

Now, I feel I need to go. I think I've gotten way too fat for my own good. I'm not ashamed to admit that. I have a weight problem and I need to do something about it. I'm not trying to justify this, but besides the body image, I need it for my health. My weight gain these past year or so had been tremendous and I'm way way beyond my ideal body weight. I'm afraid if I get too far, I will be "obese" and the effort to shake off the weight will be more difficult then.

Then there are also the health issues like the gout attacks I've had. I'm a smoker and I dont think I'm ready to stop yet. So I'm exposed to many other health issues if I'm not careful. Recently, a friend of a friend, who was my size & only slightly older, had a stroke. He's sorta semi paralyzed for half of his body. It scared me. I need to start caring for myself. I'm not done with my life adventures yet, so I dont think I would like something like that to happen.

I've always thought about the gym thing. Being gay, it seems as if all the boys you know are working out to look hotter. I think the pressure to be physically fit is higher if you're gay. I blame them damn pornos. It makes you develop fucking porno vision. Ceh. Real life is not shot in 3d porno lenses, but who am I to fret. I watch the same porn too. However, not going to the gym used to be an act of rebellion for me. I didnt want to end up as just another guy with tits shot, no face, on gaydar. I find the quest for physical perfection sometimes makes you lose your personality. It's like you stop thinking that before the pecs, you were already a really nice guy. I think sometimes you need to congratulate yourself for that too. The pecs are a bonus.

I am a firm supporter of the "personality guy". I find it quite disappointing when I hear hot people talking to eachother about nothing but the gym ALL the time. I mean dont you do anything else? Yeah, I get it that you think you're hot, but god, dont you even watch movies or listen to music? Dont you even have an original opinion? Isnt there an earthquake somewhere in the world that we should be concerned about instead of how you're not getting your pecs to grow bigger? But really, I'm a minority in that department, most seem to overlook personality when you're hot. I mean Ive seen cases where some hot boys could be as dumb as a cardboard box, AND what's worse, more annoying than a cage of chimps, but people still trip all over backwards just to get in their pants. The ones I cant tolerate are those who dares to complain afterwards. God people, be responsible! Dont think with your dick and then complain. You get what you ask for. I used to pity the sweet ones, with the lesser than perfect body because they constantly get overlooked. Ive always had a soft spot for these cute yet average underdogs. I like beauty that grows on you coz I think that would last so much longer. Even when I fell for anyone, I'd rather it be on these guys too. In fact it became a mission, that I would have crushes ONLY on these type of boys.

But if you're hot, with a personality to boot? Wow, I dont think I'd even dare a crush on you, coz you'd be totally out of mah league. Yeah, I have my issues. If you have neither, man, I dont know what to say. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder no?

But lately I began to wonder whether I'm a "personality" guy because I DONT have a nicer body. Have I been reflecting on myself? Am I basically feeling sorry for guys like me for constantly being passed over and played for a fool, for someone hotter despite how hard we try or how sincere we feel? I began to wonder if I was a hot guy with a sexy body, would I think differently? Would I still feel the same, or would I be overlooking people based on their body as well? What's scarier? I dont know how to answer that question. I would like to think I'm still gonna be fair. I still believe having a great personality makes you look better. A fit body is nice to look at, but if you dont have any substance to back it up, I dont think I'd ever find you interesting. I still need to talk to you at some point or another, so if you cant have a decent conversation, I guess I wont be that attracted to you. But would I still find you hot? I guess, yes. Would I sleep with you? If youre just not very smart, maybe yes. I'm no Einstein either. If you're super boring? Er Ive kissed those so maybe no issue. What if you're super hot but annoying? Definitely not. I do have my limits. How about all the "mr.personalities"? Would I still consider a non hot guy with a heart of gold? I think yes. No, absolutely yes, if I think he won me over.

I wonder, if I'm fit & hot, would i even had thoughts abt this?

As a dj, I'm well aware of the whole dancing topless thing. It's such a gay thing to do innit? I used to hate going to all the big parties to listen to the Djs (yes, to listen to the DJs) because it will be so jam packed with sweaty topless boys. You can hardly find a decent place to enjoy the music w/o someone's sweat getting in your face (I'm short). And the place would be so hot (as in heat) that I do wonder if I was able to take my shirt off, would I find this a non issue? Would it be easier for me to stand the heat? Would I enjoy this more? Would I be able to elbow myself some space to dance in peace? I dont know. Maybe I'll still hate it for something else.

But the one thing that really unnerved me the most, are the boys who'd stare at you like you're a disease just because your fat self is looking for a space to dance with your shirt on. I hate that. I'm not trying to get witchu asshole, I'm just trying to enjoy the music and you are STEPPING INTO MY SPACE! You dont own that dancefloor. Go fuck yourself! But in the end, Ive learned not to care and I can dance on the side right?I dont need to be on the podium. I got good friends to dance with. I shouldnt care about some queen thinking he has an issue with my body. But as much as you realize that you shouldnt care, I really do wish I chucked a few mineral water bottles to their face haha, but my momma never brought up a boy like that. I say, to each their own Motherfucker.

I AM NOT going to the gym this time for this though. I think I need to do this for me. It will be nice to be able to have a better body and feel good about myself. And not to worry about all this shit. Yeah,I think a better and fitter body would be nice. Especially when you have company. Hmm..Looking forward to that. It's not in my plan to get so fucking gorgeous physically that I looked so porno polished, but I'm aiming for a better body image. I just want to be healthier. Maybe a little toning would be nice. It helps the self esteem. Maybe then I can feel better at work even. I dont have to laugh politely at the fat jokes anymore. Hey, I already have the wit, the compassion and the sense of humour right (haha), why not get a good packaging to go with that. *sheesh!*

And check out the topless DJ pic, the headphones looked great on him haha. Bastard!

Ooh and I also want to be able to fit into my old clothes. I have some fabulous shit. But they're just lying there. I think I need to go all "fashion fashion" again. These baggy clothes are making me look straight. Yikes. Enough is enough.

Ok, so the girl from Cali gym is signing me in tomorrow, so I hope I can find the time to do this properly from tomorrow onwards. At least Thomas and Mark had moved close by, and Ies also said he'd go with me, so I have more friends to go the gym with. Gonna get my IPOD fixed tomorrow so that I can have some great choons to do the treadmill. Oh yeah, and I need a big gym bag for all my stuff. Damn going to work is gonna be a handful.

I better plan a workout playlist this week. z

Tuesday Blues

Boris Titulaer

Got the album off Radzi, but now I know how he looks like. Amazing.

Just Drive Or My Mom Will Shoot!

I am a professional taxi penumpang. It's how I get by. My life revolves around taxis. Without taxis, I have to learn how to drive. Ceh. Driving are for people who wants to be on time. I like being late. It allows you time to think. What excuse to say. What story to tell. At least you know your brain is working.

A lot had happened to me in taxis. I was robbed in a taxi once, by the driver nonetheless. Almost left naked by the road side near Jalan Sambanthan, if not for me begging for my clothes and house keys. I almost got robbed the second time by another taxi driver who wanted to drive me into some suspicious corners near Bank Negara when I was supposed to be heading the other direction. I've lost many wallets, phones, other people's umbrellas, and etc, in taxis. I think I should devote maybe a few chapters of my life on taxis alone. Does it make me want to stop taking taxis? Not really. Even though I should. But now I dont hail random taxis anymore, I call for one. They keep records,

Today I realized one more thing about taxis that I find amusing. Why do taxi drivers have this habit of trying to engage you in conversations, even though sometimes it's fucking OBVIOUS that you're not in interested. It happens to me all the time. Is it just me? Do I look too friendly? I hate it when it happens in the morning on my way to work. Not that it's always bad, but I hate feeling captive and then forced to agree on something that I essentially dont. It could be from the inane to the religious to even extremely political. I mean, what else can you do? Disagree with the driver? Pick an argument? You're in his ride and what if he's like a psycho? Damn pantang one when this happens. I've seen the worst side of taxi rides (hello robbery?) so I usually try to just do my "uh huh" and "yeah" even when all I really wanted was for the driver to just drive and allow me to nap a little bit. As much as I try to highlight how uninterested I am in the conversation, they just go on and on and on and on.

Sometimes it could be kind of fun, yeah i've actually met some taxi drivers who told very interesting & amusing stories that sorta perked my interest, but boy have I been in some weird taxi conversations. I am not your friend, I dont need to know all this. Sometimes it even made me think whether I should report this shit to the authorities? I've been in a taxi where the driver claimed to have killed someone on purpose (waaaayyy freaky). Then there are drivers who claimed they had freaky sex with passengers who cant pay. One claimed to be some messiah of god. And the one I hate most, the one who tries to sell me something so early in the morning. Just let me be. U drive, I sleep. Can?

But what can I do, as long as I refuse to drive, I will encounter all this. I sure wish my Ipod is working coz usually they'd avoid me when I have my headphones on. I think I will get the damn thing fixed this weekend.

Another day, another taxi. Let's see what happens tomorrow morning.

Elliott Yamin - A House Is Not A Home

One word. WOW!
Where's my kleenex?



Mary showing some love to E? Is this Mary adding a bit of street cred for Elliott so that he can enter the R&B arena? I think so. Thanks Ms.Blige. Much appreciated.

What Would Bryan Boitano Do?

Today work was so boring that I decided half way to just make an excuse and skip it. I have a big project due today, some consultancy thing for my Indo counterparts, but I couldnt do shit in the office. Serves me right for setting up my own deadline, totally confident that I could so some work over the weekend.



Who am I kidding? Since when do I do work on weekends?

I told my department head that I was out of ideas that I needed to go out and do stuff. Lucky for me, she was pretty cool about it so I immediately went home. Had a nap for about two hours and voila, ideas started pouring. I managed to finish some graphic work by 10pm. I think I just function better at home than the damn office.

Tonight I'm planning to sleep early if I can coz I'm gonna carry my shit over to the immigration office tomorrow. Need to renew the damn passport already. I wouldnt be in such a rush if Barry didnt tell me last week that he's planning to get me a gig in Korea maybe mid July. Imagine that. I wonder what the scene there is like. A little nervous but yet I am very excited.

July is looking to be a pretty busy month for me DJ wise. I have a big party to play to on the 2nd called Flirt. No website or anything that I can link to at the moment. Got hooked up with the gig thanks to Bobby. Apparently him and his friends are doing that. I will be playing the 11 to 1 time slot. Warming up for Bobby himself. Met the other guy from the Flirt team, Will, last weekend at Velvet. I gave him an invite and he did show up but poor boy, he did look a little lost there. But of course he said he enjoyed himself. I dont know lah sincere or PR. It doesnt matter. One amazing thing though, Will looked fuckin 18 but he's like 28. I was quite surprised when I saw his picture while we chatted online. Good genes I guess.

July 9th I have a world cup street party thing for another guy. The funny thing was when we first talked about it, I just charged him my normal club rates and he was a little shocked. Apparently I'm severely under charging (which he didnt tell me of course). I dont know man, it's my first street party thing. I didnt even know the rates are supposed to be different. However, lucky me, I managed to change my quotation and I get a better rate from it. Way way better. I wonder what I'm gonna play for a World Cup street party? Do I need to play Ricky Martin A Cup Of Life? Oy! Even worse, do I have to keep Europe's The Final Countdown in my cd bag? Goodness. I cant even imagine it. I already told him I'm a house dj, so dont expect Bon Jovi and shit. He said Ok, and I'm just hoping that the kaki bolas wont throw beer bottles at me. Yam suggested however, that maybe instead of Europe, the gay DJ in me should play Whitney Houston instead to replace Europe.

"Clock strikes upon the hour...". Whitney - I Wanna Dance With Somebody

Fitting. But beyond camp. Like only Yam could suggest that. Touche!

July will be a month to look forward to.

This Friday @ Bonds

Another week for Lovemachine. This Friday we are bringing our act back to Bonds at Avenue K. I love the venue. Very beautifully done. I'm really hoping that they'd fix the speakers coz it would rock.

If you're free this Friday and would like to try something new other than Frangi, then do consider coming down to support Lovemachine. The event is partly charity as well, so you actually help contribute to a good cause. We will have a bigger charity event in June, because we really do want to make a difference, but for now, come and join us at Bonds for a smaller scale one, but still as fun as fun can be.

Check out the project blog here. Dont forget to leave comments if you want especially if it will help us make the party better for you.

Thanks for your support.

Dance Little Lady Dance

So you think you cant dance for shit huh? Does it make u feel embarrassed to go out to the disco? Fear not, for I have a solution for you. Watch these clips and you will find your inner Solid Gold dancers unleashed!

Who knew that Mary Kate & Ashley could do EVERYTHING! How come Uncle Jessie is not on the video, dancing topless..grrr?


Come on Vogue?


La Isla Bonita?


Lucky Star?

Madonna would be so proud that the lil tween queens are shoplifting her old ideas.

Adopt A Guy Program.

Haha. Found this while reading Hafiz's blog. Well the more reason to gawk at cute boys on a Sunday I guess.

Adopt A 235 Guy Program.

Just thought I'd share this with you.
Did I adopt one? Nope. I don't think I'd officially declare my adoption. I'm not trying to be Angelina Jolie. But if anything hehe, my pick would be these two. Can you see the similarities? Haha. Yes I love me boys with some facial hair.The first one is Dan, and the second one is Danial. Like I said, not an official adoption, but I can always gawk at the catalogue right? Cutie!

Good Men are hard to find? Good Friends Are What You Need.

Last weekend was one of those crazy ass ones where you take triple the days to recover. I'm just happy that I had so much fun on Thursday (Faizal's bday celebo at Blueboy) and Friday (Lovemachine @ Velvet) that I decided to cut out my normal Saturday night routine of more partying and sleep. I woke up quite early Sunday morning and spent the whole day doing something productive. Heh, I finally managed to find time to do some laundry. Yay. Next week, I have a lot of clean things to wear. Finally!

One thing that is very clear to me about last weekend was that I am so happy to have the friends I have today. They might not be a lot, but they are significantly the bone that kept my existence fun. Without them, I really wouldnt know what I'd become. Everybody is pretty quirky in their own right, me included, and it's amazing how we could actually connect as real people, not just a bunch of people that party together. I love them. They are probably the coolest people Ive ever been blessed to meet. If you're reading this, you should know how much I treasure all of ya'll. I dont want to go around telling you all this coz I just might get accused of being emo, but here I can write it down and you can digest that at your own time. Blogs are exactly created for this purpose isn't it?

Had a chat with Elaine at Faizal's place post lovemachine and I'm amazed how being a mother has somewhat changed her. I love this new Elaine. A long time ago, we got ourselves into a little tiff, and there were times where I tried to avoid talking to her because I was little afraid of her honestly. I'm not very good at pretending to pay attention when I get miffed. It's just a stupid lil thing that I do. I didnt want to do that in front of her usually, coz I think it's rather rude, so I would just run and hide in a corner somewhere. Call it my disappearing act, sort of. However, talking to her yesterday, I dont see a trace of the Elaine I used to fear. I think having a child has changed her somewhat and this new woman I'm seeing is beautifully glowing and obviously happier. We talked about so many things and I actually had fun doing just that. She actually gave me some good things to remember and some good advices too. Big ups to Greg, she's a keeper. I mean, you gotta love a young couple who calls their first born Aidan after Carrie's boyfriend in Sex & the City, right? I tell you this boy will have so many male aunties, more than he can count with both hands. You go girl.

I also had so much fun looking at fabric with Ies last Tuesday. I actually skipped work (shh..) just to go find some hanky fabric with him for Faizals's birthday" hanky + jeans" shindig last Thursday. It reminded me so much of how we used to do that for Liquid's party weekends. Man, those days used to be so fun. We practically made an ass of ourselves with costumes and etc, every time! Ies had often dared me to wear things that I thought I never could. Thanks girl. I wish I have your guts you know. I may look butch but I'm not as ballsy. I think this is one of the reasons why I remembered those days fondly.

Check this out, once, we got stopped by the police on our way out and I had to step out of the car in my PLATFORM shoes. Having the police check your ID while you have a truck full of Bangladeshis making googly eyes at you because of your colorful hair and platform shoes, is not very glamourous. But absolutely hillarious. I even remembered telling the police I was on my way to the "Pekan". Haha.

Other things I remembered. Gosh, we used to be so much fun.

a) Leon used to match everything he wears colorwise. He'd sneak in pieces of fabric into his shoes so that it would match his shirt.
b)Roni was always drunk and sometimes he would be found on the floor crawling to next podium after he fell off another one.
c)Jemay used to carry a plastic toy gun to the parties and we'd chase eachother in the clubs like idiots. And we didnt care.
d)Once I wore a wig to Liquid. Yes I did. And I looked like some VCD seller instead of looking girly.
e) Ies once won some costume award for having this big ass silver wings during one of the parties. That and his Hello Kitty umbrella.
f)Dancing with Jiman in his fur outfit in Movement. I miss Movement.
g)The fun mirrors at Backroom. And that plastic tree underneath the stairs near the speakers. Used to pretend it's shady and would hide under the damn thing when the place gets too hot. Like that would work. Haha
h)Mei would turn any fabric she could find into a top.

Ahh...so many good memories. Ive known most of my friends for longer that 6 years. I am very happy that I still have all them as friends today even though some dont go out much anymore. I'm very happy that lovemachine sort of got us a little bit excited like we used to. I guess lovemachine made us feel so young and foolish again. Now where are those scissors again? I need to tear clubland a new asshole.

Weekend Update

Havent been blogging much since Elliott got kicked out. I guess sans Elliott I had less and less to say. How sad is that. BUT!!! I am so happy about last Friday turn out at the LOVEMACHINE event at Velvet Underground. Yeah I think most of the straight crowd turned out for the free booze from 10pm to 12am, but without friends this party would basically be nothing. And thanks to Adli (welcome to the blog world babey!)and Kevin, these parties will be documented. Dont I have fabulous friends? They are. They truly are.

Check out some snapshots that Adli took. More snapshots? Head over to Adli's blog.
































The next party would be at Bonds in Avenue K. Show up if you can..Make sure you get your pictures taken. Send me an email, I would love to see what you took.

Last Thursday night was Faizal's birthday party at the old 'mo joint that is Blueboy. Once again, the camera I took with me wont work. But thanks to Adli we have some fab photos of that night too. The search for the hanky itself was hillarious. I will do a separate post for that. Me, Ies and Mei totally rocked Kamdar buying fabric. We just might go again. Have so many costume ideas!!

Elliott Yamin Is Eliminated. McPhee & Hicks finals

My fave idol contestant ends his journey this week. I dont think I could be so affected by it but I am. I will try and watch the finals, but at my own sweet time. I dont care who wins anymore coz I dont like spazz hicks or Kat McBeaver. Congrats Elliott. You made it this far. We will see more of you in the future.

XMEN!!

Cant wait. Besides lovemachine this is the 2nd thing that excites me at the moment. I was a late Xmen fan. I had never seen the comics (yeah, all my money went to music, even then) and I never really paid much attention to them when I was young. I was too happy watching Jem & The Holograms. However, when I saw the first movie, I was hooked. Now this looks good. So much better than Mission Impossible (blerrgh!)



I couldnt sleep last night and only managed to shut my eye at 5am only to wake up at 9.15 (so late!!) and thus was rushing to get ready for work. I was just about to walk out the door and call a taxi when I finally remembered that I was On Leave today. Bah. Went back to sleep.

The Lovemachine Pics Looked Great!!

More pics at lovemachine

Days Like This I Dont Know What To Do With Myself

Last night we had an ok night with lovemachine at Bond Bar. Was very disappointed with the sound system and how the people over at Bonds were handling things. Guest list then ten minutes before opening time, no guest list. Bla bla. Sound system, no sound system. What is that. I hope it got resolved at the door. It makes me really pissed off, like I'd rather not work with them, but we are starting a new concept here so I understand why people can be skeptical. We in the end had an OK party, the turnout wasnt fantastic, but it was enough to kickstart a party. We had fab photos though.

Strangely, the straight crowd was more handbag than the boys. I guess most are R&B folks, so they recognize the more familiar tunes. Some of the straight boys left early because, the door bitch told me, "there was way too many gays in there". Damn people still have problems about shit like that? I mean, there were lots of girls too. As much as I'd like to think that people go out to have fun and party, you cant stop this "I'm going out to score" attitude. Clubbing is only40% music, and apparently 60% hooking up. Are they still thinking that we gays are maneaters that cant respect someone's private space? Please lah, like we dont have better things to do. So you're cute, and we look. You look at cute chicks too. Do you go and make conversations with every cute girls in the place and try getting in their pants? You want to, but you dont right. Looking at you doesnt mean that we're gonna spike your drink and rape you in the toilet. Hello, that is YOUR FANTASY. We will just look and think you're hot and hope you'd work the nerve to come over and say hi. We all shy one.

I'd rather do a gay guy than a straight guy anyways. Who wants to be doing all the work right? It's all about reciprocating lah mate. You want to sit there and get entertained, go pay a prostitutes lah.

Next time you see gay boys looking at you, look at yourself in the mirror and do two things...Check wether you have foodstain on your shirt, or wore your shirt backwards, or got buttons in the wrong hole or your fly's unzipped,or your shoes dont match. If everything's A-Ok, just pat yourself on the back and say, DAMN, I must be hot. What's wrong with being hot right?

Talking abt cute guys at the party last night that I have no idea whether they are gay or straight, (DJ where got time to mingle?), there was this cute, slightly chunky malay guy in a white t-shirt sitting right in front of the DJ console. Goateed, or was it a moustache? I cant remember. Very cute. That was my eye candy of the night. I love it when meaty, kinda chunky boys dresses well, have good haircut, and not sloppy. Dude, if some reason you accidentally end up on this page, I'm talking about YOU man. Keep on rocking. If you're pink like me haha next time, say hi.

What is good music?

Sometimes when I try to explain what kind of music I do play when I'm djing, I feel as if I have to justify my playing pop remixes in my sets, especially to other DJs. It's as if it made me a lesser DJ if I do, and believe it or not, it used to bother me. Haha. What was I thinking. I love POP MUSIC. So who cares? I have to say I have embraced my love of good pop music. I dont give a rat's ass anymore. I love it. My crowd loves it. So it's all love now. However I'm known within my friends to be extremely picky of mixes. That's why I started remixing too. I dont just play anything. What is so wrong abt playing Madonna if you think it's good right? Yay, so call me a pop whore and I'll say "aye". If you're gonna thumb your nose down this Friday at Lovemachine if you suddenly hear a Beyonce remix blasting through the speakers, then I feel sorry for you mate. Music in the clubs should be fun. If it's not fun, why bother? I will leave the music education bit for the pros, as for me, I will play whatever I deemed good. Just let your hair down and have fun. Dont be too serious lah. Life is too short to not have some fun.

Talking about good music, ehem, let's watch two clips of Elliott Yamin blowing the roof off from today's Idol! I hope America would vote him to stay till finals. But then, I'm biased (it's my blog, I can talk about Elliott as much as I want to.). Saw the rest and they er weren't as good. Go E-Train! Great job.





Effing amazing!

Remember how mashups were cool like 3 years ago? Back then I had a jolly time listening to mashups. Some called it Bastard Pop for what it is. Pop vocals on music of other artists. The best ones from back then was definitely the George Michael Faith vs Missy Get Your Freak On (it's hillarious), Nirvana Smells Like Teen Spirit with Destiny's Child's Bootylicious, and this one by The Strokes and Christina Aguilera. I decided to put this up because this is truly amazing.


I love love love this version. Hmm I would sure love to hear a local take. SM Salim vs Biggie Smalls or Nirvana vs Sharifah Aini or something. Too bad record company here dont release accapella commercially. Or I wouldve done it. Strange that no one local caught up with this but then I guess it's too overdone now anyways.

I'm psyched about Lovemachine this Friday. Come on people. Just show up. Dont be afraid of the gay boys. Girls get in for FREE some more. Let's just party together side by side. Be fab. Be fun. Dont be afraid to dress up. We HAVE CAMERAMAN! Dont just stand there,let's get to it. Strike a pose, there's nothing to it.

Argh Tuesday Idol Show Is Approaching!!

Damn. I still cant sleep. I'm so wide awake!! I will be so dead at the office tomorrow. I guess I'm gonna pretend like I'm sick or something. So what do I do since I'm sleepless in City Garden? Yes, I'm revisiting my blog and I've decided to blog abt Elliott. Yet again. Forgive me world, I think this boy maketh me do & feel things I shouldn't feel at times.

I've finally managed to stop reminiscing about you, Jase, after the whole Elliott & the "Home" thing last week. Come on Fendie, you're 32 and that was 9 years ago. Just get on with your life why dontcha. I've decided that I'm gonna just remember you fondly as one of those people that have changed my life forever. Just remember, you have been loved. I was loved. No one can take that away from me. Even if by fate I'll end up alone feeding ducks in Tasik Perdana one day and die on the park bench, I will carry memories of you with me. So from now on, I'm moving on. 1, 2, 3...breathe....ok, I'm back in the present.

Elliott, Elliott..You made me wished I'm in America with a Cingular wireless so that I can make sure you reach your dreams. I'll be broke as shit after the Idol season is over, but I think it will be worth it. I've never rooted for someone so badly as I do for you. It's amazing how people dont allow you even the slightest of mistake while the rest could burp like a frog and still get votes. Oh yeah, I forgot..Bush is still the president right? It hurts me to think that you wont be appreciated by America even when compared to the rest of the performers, you are the best singer, the most improved performer, the best makeover result, and more. It saddens me to think that people judge you first for your look, not for your talent. And that big heart in your pocket. And dude, you're not even ugly. How cruel is America? Sad sad and that made me admire even more of how graceful you stand tall despite it all, and just keep on singing your heart out like it's the only thing you were born to do. I know you can read. I bet you've seen all the articles. I bet your gf would tell you a thing or two. But still it never broke your spirit and there you stand, everyweek, out there trying to win America & the world with your voice and good graces. They call you Monkey boy and still you smile and sing. People rat on your teeth (since when is teeth a measure of a good person/singer, god knows) and still you stand smiling and hugging your fellow contestants when they leave. You are deaf 90% in one ear and people made fun of you, and you still sang it with a heart unfazed. I dont know man, but I do feel for you. Chris Daughtry is hot, sure. But does hot makes you better? Taylor Hicks is a performer for sure, but would that epileptic dancing sounds good on a CD? Kath is gorgeous and yes that panties flashing thing sure motivated America to vote for her, but is she vocally better than you? I dont think so. She butchered Phil Collins and he probably need drugs to recover from for her rendition of Againts All Odds, but still her boobs got her votes. They are competent singers and yes people forgive them but you? You cant even make even a small mistake and people will jump up and down like the monkeys they really are, pointing to it. How shallow is this world. And still you smile. How do you do it man? How do you do it. Your mama brought u up good.
Maybe I see in you a kindred spirit. Yes the world is cruel but I aspire to be able to take all the nonsense as gracefully as you did. I have to admit sometimes I fail. I dont think I have even half of your patience. I've been known to be very slow at forgiving people who are mean to me. I'll get there eventually, but sometimes I just dont. Every fat jokes. Every dj diss. Every assholes taking advantage of me. Every trust betrayed. Every time my heart gets broken. Every single one of those, I remember. I dont think I can ever be as graceful as you. I'm never vindictive, it's my do gooder tendencies taking over, but I never forget. I salute you man. Your patience is truly as tough as diamonds.
Everytime someone dissed your looks, I feel you. I've had that. I know where I stand in that department but I always feel that if they cant appreciate my better qualities, then they dont deserve my concern. Maybe that's what you're doing too. Keep going man. Even if you performed well tonight and people still wont vote for you and you get voted out, dont lose hope, just keep on being this E that I love. Maybe you're not a star by Idol shallow superficial standards, but you are one of the best example of virtousness, patience, persistence, and you give me a little hope that I wont grow older shallow and bitter. In that sense, you're heroic. This is for you. One of my favourite quotes of all time by one of the most gracious person to ever walked earth.

"People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People who really want help may attack you if you help them. Help them anyway. Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway."

Mother Teresa

Stay strong. You inspire many to keep on going. Good luck with your performance tonight. Just go kick some ass.

It's On Now.

Here ye here ye. Come one come all. This is gonna be a little side project for me and my friends, to bring back fun partying on your Friday nights. Come out and have a wild time. Dress up. Look good. Just make some effort. Dont lah come in shorts and sloppy t-shirts. We want to make going out exciting again. Woohoo!! Just created another club-blog just for that rotating parties alone. We're gonna post photos, blog a little, post our playlist, interview guest djs or what have yous. You can bitch and rant. Leave comments. Ask about song titles. Post requests. (if it's within our playlist, we'll surely give it to ya). After the overwhelming response of Friday nights at Velvet, we are going to embark on our 2nd venue which is Bond Bar. The place is gorgeous!! You just have to see it. More venues will be added soon. Yay. I just cant wait to play a lot of good music for you guys. And also to introduce my new sidekick Thomas. Soon, he will work hand in hand with me to bring you more quality stuff for our community. I'm just so excited beyond belief!! YAY!!! Go and check out our project blog here. There's nothing there yet coz we are just starting the party, but come back everyweek for photos of you and your friends having a great time!! Eh, if nice shot, can even use the pics for your GAYDAR profile leh. Hehe. Ooh so much fun stuff will happen soon. Shameless plug alert. Shameless plug alert.

Friday @ Bond Bar?

Good news fellow gelek hantus! I might get to play Bond Bar at Avenue K this Friday to launch our moving parties. It is a public holiday!! Yay! I think if this comes through it will be a madly fun night. I'm going for soundcheck at 6 just to see how far I can take the music at this place. It's no Velvet so I think I can play my normal stuff. I hope this works out. If I can confirm this later, I will inform everyone again. Woo hoo. Kev, come take pictures?

Que Sera Sera

Somebody recently commented that my blog is too disjointed and chaotic, like I couldn't decide what I wanted it to be, and that it's not very cool. I wasnt sure how to respond to that at first, but then it made me question why I did this blog in the first place.

This blog is my own online record, or call it a journal, of whatever that goes through my head. What excites me. It could be anything. Thus the title. It's not here to get more hits or make money for me or make me glamourous or whatever that you think it might be leading to. Who reads this damn blog anyways, if not my own friends right? I mean instead of me flooding your mailbox with funny youtube links or music or pictures of hot boys, why not put them all up in one place where everyone can come and have a look, AT their own time. It's my own little community Message Board! That's it. My own message board.

You can come here and check out my DJ set playlist or see my latest remixes or read about things that pissed me off or watch funny videos of Paula Abdul or watch me discuss Aretha's weird outfits or even watch me get googly eyed over the hotness that is Elliott Yamin. I think he's hot, whaaat? Talent and passion give me goosebumps babe, you can keep the tits army. I want a man to sing me to sleep! Especially one with a voice like that! Meow!! I never really meant this to attract other readers other than my friends but once you put things up on the internet, you know eventually some random folks will swing by. Which is ok. I did get a warning from someone for swearing on a Beyonce post I did a few months ago though! They worry I would accidentally attract young kids! What? Is there no other Beyonce sites that are more legit than my posting of her being a hoochie in the Naughty Girl video? Come on. I cant deny that some young kid might accidentally get here after googling for let say Elliott Yamin. But would my story about being gay and the whole Handkerchief code thing get them converted?

Imagine some young boy going "Boy, colored hankies looked like fun, Mom!! I want to be gay when I grow up!!". Dont they have other sites that they'd rather frequent than read blogs? Adult read blogs, kids dont. Research on Beyonce, my ass.

Should I be worried. One word parents. No. I cant be held responsible for what your kids read online. I am neither a role model or a supermodel. There is no modeling in my blood at all. I do get out of bed for less than 10,000 dollars. And yes sometimes I do nasty things that your kids shouldnt do. You should be responsible for teaching your kids and nurture them into responsible thinking adults. What I wrote here does nothing to them if you love your kids and take care of them. I remembered as a kid, all I ever wanted was for adults to explain things to me, instead of just saying No. This is the formative years, your INTELLIGENT adult input counts. Come on now, dont be lazy. If you gonna make a nanny out of me, I want to get paid for that.

Anyhoo, I'm out of cigarettes. Yes, I smoke. Bad habit eh. Ok kids, go read something else. Just got a text from Chris that we're going out. Rick's leaving on Tuesday so it's his last night in town. I guess I have to go out to Maison (actually I want to go out anyways) and check out mr.bobby b. See you guys there.

What The World Needs Now

Oprah's ass is an ATM.

The Incredible Mister Fixit

I have this subconscious thing where I go around trying to fix things. It's like a reflex. With good intentions of course, but it doesnt always end up well. I call it, the "Do The Right Thing" syndrome. You always think people get you, and in the end they end up doing it differently, and they blame you back when shit go haywire because that's what they thought u asked them to do. I especially hate it when I automatically go all Oprah and shit WITHOUT people even asking. Well except for maybe when it matters (that, you can tell when), I do have a heart. I boil this down to my having high expectations of people and my thing abt seeing your big potential, so I always think you can do better, ya know? I've been this way since high school. I was one of those kids they always single out as those pesky peer councillor kids. I dont know, people easily open up to me. Beats me why.

Had enough of it last year though. I was sick of always telling people how to do things right. I know no better than you, and I'm still growing and making mistakes like most. I am not holier than thou. The ones that really get to me are people who came to you for advice, and you sincerely help out, and they still do nothing. Hate that. Just do the Men In The Mirror thing already and "make that change". I cant stand the whole "woe is me thing" when it's endless. I think if they really wanted help, they'd do something abt it right?. I can take listening to the same problems a few times, but if you just go on and on and on forever, yo, get it over and done with already!! I'm not your therapist. Take your time if you want to, but dont take my time. You should know yourself better right? Not me. Sometimes I do wonder if my eagerness to help is actually doing some people more harm than good. Like I'm sheltering you from making the mistakes that you should make ya know? U learn your life lessons and grow up that way. Scenic route. No shortcuts. That's what life is about. In some cases, I believe you'd turn some people lazy. They pick your brains out coz they know you'd help but really what they wanted is for you to do all the thinking. There were some instances when I felt it I should charge for this shit! If I'm doing your job for you, I should get your salary right? Come on.

So for the past year or so, I've been trying not to. Practising restraint. It's hard coz like I said earlier, it's like a reflex to me. Sometimes I can almost hear myself thinking "...here's how you should do it...bla bla bla...", and I will stop right there. No more Oprah shit. A friend once told me, "why stop? look at it as your contribution to the world". But I feel less happier doing it these days, thats why I'm stopping. I'm happier keeping my thoughts to myself. I quote Simon, "they're above 18? they should take care of themselves". But sometimes I'd slip up and do it again. Especially if I'm really concerned for that person. But that I dont mind as much because what else are friends for? I just dont like when I do it for everything & everyone. And then it didnt turn out they way it should.

Last night this friend of mine had a small problem. Nothing serious really (not for me at least) but for a besotted boy such as he..this clearly meant something. He had recently met this guy ( a week?) and the two of them had such a great time that he was clearly smitten. You know how that goes. They dont realize it yet but you can tell. So the thing was, the guy havent been replying his smss and he's wondering why. "Is it me. Is it him. Is he ok? Is he sick? Is his phone working? Doesnt he like me anymore. Is he busy?". I mean, easy for me to say "well, just move on. if he's gonna be an asshole with you, then he deserves none of your affections" right? But tell that to someone completely smitten. I feel sorry for him coz really, he is such a sweet kid, and I shouldve known that I'll slip into my protective mother mode. So you know what I did? I asked him for the guy's number and we played a little prank. I would sms the guy pretending to be someone the guy had probably gave his phone number to, and we try and see whether he replies. The deal was, if the guy replied to my sms then my friend should know what's the 411. And guess what, this mr. didnt-reply-sms-in-5-days, replied me in less than 2 minutes. JERK! He tried to hide it from me but he was obviously very disappointed. I feel bad all of a sudden. Why did I even think that this would help? I shouldnt have intervened. So i got a text from him last night at 3am, and my friend couldnt sleep. I feel really bad for him. Maybe it's necessary, but do I have to do this? Wish I had just let him snap out of it at his own time and take actions by himself. I hate it when I feel this way. Oh well, I havent heard from him today so I hope he's doing ok.

No more instant Oprah. I'm retiring.

It's Just Emotions Taking Me Over..

Had a chat with Kev (there, you happy?)yesterday about my love for bittersweet songs especially after the whole Jase, my past & Elliott Yamin piece. I'm not normally that sappy, but yeah I love love great love songs. I'm not into the big David Foster type ballads but sometimes when it's good, you cant deny it its greatness. I'm no music snob. But I prefer humble little ditties with a big heart. I'm a lyrics guy. I love well written confessional lyrics. I think this sort of reflects my age and the things Ive gone through. And my preoccupation with honesty. Honesty is beautiful, great job if you can get it. In songs, how the lyrics are written reflects how comfortable you are with your own skin I think. Great lyrics made love songs more heartfelt. So after our chat, I sent Kev some of my fave tracks from way back and a few pretty recent ones.

I might as well share them with you too. This really reflects my taste in music and every song have somewhat footnoted a certain event in my life - you know the drill. You'd have a song for every break ups, every guy you fell for, every trip you went to bla bla right? (or is it just me?)

The tunes here ranges from country to pop to jazz to whatever that tickles my fancy. Click link to download (for Rapidshare - go down and click on Free). Best enjoyed with a cup of coffee, or a glass of wine, on headphones. Dont cry out loud.

Antony & The Johnsons - Hope There Is Someone For Me
Amel Larrieux - Make Me Whole
Aimee Mann - Amateur
Ben Fold's Five - Selfless, Cold & Composed
Chantal Kreviazuk - Feels Like Home
Conner Reeves - Ordinary People
Dave Matthews Band - Lover Lay Down
Fiona Apple - Love Ridden
Heather Nova - You Left Me A Song
Jose Gonzales - Hand On Your Heart (a kylie cover...imagine that)
Jann Arden - True Love
Kd Lang - Love Is Everything
Latoya London - State Of My Heart
Matthew Sweet - Sweet Voice
Morrissey - I Am Hated For Loving
Ron Sexsmith - Words We Never Use
Teddy Thompson - Shine So Bright
Trisha Yearwood - Like We Never Had a Broken Heart
Will Young - All Time Love
Wilson Philips - This Doesnt Have To Be Love

Blueboy and the Amazing Technicolor Hankie

Blueboy brings back many fond memories for me. You know what they say, the place is where most things began. Remember when everything was still awkward and you were kind of naive, but curious, to discover more abt your new "self", Blueboy was this welcome relief. I knew that I was gay way way way before that, which prompted me to go to New York really to find out more abt myself so that I can really be sure. I never knew that people could be so blatantly gay over here. My biggest fear was that I had to crawl back into the closet when I go back. I dont think I could handle something like that. Months before I came back to K.L in 1998, I spent a lot of my time online talking to local gay people to find out abt the gay life here. Everyone was talking abt Blueboy. I was amazed. A gay bar in Malaysia? Wow. Who knew. But it's a gay bar/pub/club thing right? So I dont think I'd totally be like a fish out of water.

Music made my being gay an easier experience for me, I think. We gays breathe and live music. The danceclubs are like a safe haven, a little queer country where you can go and be yourself. My love for dancing made the bar/club scene a non scary newbie experience for me. I popped my club cherry in the summer of 1995, at this gay dance club called Trexx in Syracuse. I was the only guy in my group that's above 21 - I had a legit ID and I can buy alcohol! so yes, I was popular with my peers. Haha. But then I was never much of a drinker, my drug of choice then was music, so the club experience felt like a second skin. If you ever needed to look for me, I was by the corner near the dancefloor.

When the time came to check out Blueboy I was pretty confident I could handle it. You know what, you will never really know what you'll find out abt yourself right? I think Blueboy woke me up. I never really saw it in New York I guess, coz most seems foreign to you anyways and you never really paid attention. Mat Salleh all looked alike to you. Only in Blueboy that I finally saw it and understood. Most gays looked no different that anyone you see walking down the street. Yes, some of us are stereotypically what you might expect, no doubt, but many of us are simply just your average folks living to get by. You get all types and all ages, the cute chickens, the working execs, the butch pakciks, the drag femmes but finally looking at it from this localized p.o.v, I finally saw that gay people are possibly all around us, everywhere we look. Anyone could be gay. The guy you buy Newspaper from, the fish monger, your postman, your favorite actor, your mamak, your vcd seller, your uncle, your brother, your dad .. just about anyone could be on your team. Everyone I saw looked like just about anyone I knew in life. I cant describe how it made me feel, but it's somewhere between overwhelming relief, a sense of pride and thankfulness.

It sure made you feel less alone everytime you walk down the street. We are everywhere, living our life the best way we know how. It made me feel that I can be gay, just the way I am. Yes, KL should be a fine place to live.

I havent been to Blueboy in a while. I mean, musically of course, we've sort of moved on to better venues, I'm dj-ing for god's sake, but there's something nostalgic about the damn place. Cockroach smell and old mat saleh trolls included. Sometimes the drag show is pretty fun. In two weeks, a good friend of mine and his partner of two years (er either 2 or 3, im not sure) is throwing his birthday bash in Blueboy - complete with a retro theme! It's a hankie code night. Haha. I thought it will be a pretty cool and fun. Black/white t-shirts with rolled up sleeve, tight jeans, and a colored hankie in your back pocket indicating your sexual preference. It's a gay thing from the 70s which I used to find funny. But then, they dont have gaydar and gay.com like today. People make do. The whole thing is rather campy for me because it's somewhat like Elvis Presley meets the Village People. You can check the hankie codes here (if you're gay/straight and curious abt the codes). If you got to this blog by mistake and might find this offensive (oh lord), then just dont. I dont want to ruffle your feathers.

I'm looking forward to this. I might post pictures.

The day is all about me.

Was over at Dan Renzi's blog to see his update (if there's any) of his story with AG and I picked up this new mantra.

Men are not opportunities, relationships are not solutions, and we are all perfectly interesting on our own merits. Repeat. Forever.

I'm also gonna do this me me thing that he did. Maybe you can try it too.

I AM: a Capricorn - a walking oxymoron. Creative but restrained. Flamboyant but shy. Loving but pessimistic at times. You know the drill.

I WANT: to stop having to explain my choices and a man who trusts me.

I WISH: I'm somewhere else where I cant be right now.

I HATE: people who drove fast when there's a puddle by the road. Come on!

I MISS: having a Saturday night residency, testing remixes and playing for my boys.

I HEAR: that your soulmates are basically your best friends.

I WONDER: if everything in this world stops for a minute and everyone is silent, would the world still be moving?

I REGRET: not being brave enough to face the truth sometimes.

I AM NOT: the easiest person to please. Easy to get along with, yes, but to please me..that's tough. I have too high an expectation. I'm learning to not to be so damn difficult.

I DANCE: all the time! life is a dance.

I SING: well once. Now, I cant hit the notes. I think it's all the smoking and the old age. I still pretend I'm a good singer when I sing in the shower though.

I CRY: too easily. I'm moved by songs, great lines, great stories. Too easy.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: as strong as I pretend to be.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: weird origami stuff. They dont make sense.

I WRITE: here in my blog, and my poetry.

I CONFUSE: a lot of straight girls. I am gay girls. I am.

I NEED: to fucking clean my house. I'm just too lazy.

I SHOULD: give people more chance to grow. Ive stopped trying to fix things.

I START: looking for a new job everytime I get bored.

I FINISH: reading a book in a day if it's really good.

I TAG: who else? You.

The weekly Elliott Yamin post

Maybe it was the extensive weekend but I got a little emotional watching Elliott all toned down for Home. It wasnt one of those "look at me" type performances, but the gentleness of the way he sang it, reminded me of a certain feeling I had for my first boyfriend Jason. My college memories was filled with thoughts of him. Damn, how long ago was that? 9 years?

Elliott's beginning to look a lot like you with all that scruffy hair and the damn goatee! It's you on a Sunday morning drinking coffee by the bed. It's you doing your math homework in your flannel Pjs. It's you singing Dave Matthews to me. I loved the scruffy you. I never saw the resemblance before but today I did. And the whole mommy loving Jewish boy thing is just too you. The way he speaks. That nervous laughter. The big goof. The big heart. It was like seeing you all over again. Is this partly why I'm such a huge fan bordering on obsession? Is it because I see bits of what I've loved about you in him? Now everything seems to piece itself together.

It wasnt an easy clip to sit through. It made me missed you too much. It also made me remember how I badly I missed you then, even though I was the one insisting that we end everything, especially when I had to leave New York for K.L. You were my first real love I guess. Whatever that had happened between us, the good times and the bad, had left a permanent imprint on me. I think I was too scared that if I'd be with you until the last minute, I wont know how to live with myself. I did tell you that I dont believe in torturing ourselves with a long distance thing just to be polite. You're too good a man for me to put through all that. I was too scared of what I will become.

I'm sorry for leaving. I hope you understand. As much as it had hurt us, I figured I had to learn to live with it. So that's why I did what I did. I dont think this will ever reach you but I really hope you're happy somewhere. I have to tell you that it wasnt easy and it took a while and there was never a single moment that I didnt wish that I was there with you. I always feel at home with you, like it's where I really belong. No judgement, no fear, no trying to please anyone and be somebody I'm not. With you I can be the emotional mess that I can be sometimes and you will still love me. I guess after 9 fucking years, no one had ever really ever replaced you in my head. Damn, moving on is so not easy.

I wonder how you're doing babe. I still miss you a lot at times. Maybe a bit too often.Especially today. Sometimes I think everytime I fell for someone, it was because they reminded me of you. All of them seems to have some similar traits to you. The gentle big hearted mommy boys seem to be my calling. And maybe the reason why I rarely am succesful at it is because at some point I will realize that they're not you, regardless of how much they resemble you. And then I will take a seat back and breathe. And give up. Or shut myself out. Damn you Elliott, you pushed me back into the past.

Ok, enough sob stories and sorry about that. I guess I just needed to let it out. Back to the performance. I didnt quite like On Broadway but Elliott's talents are undeniable in that. He was a little rocky in the beginning but he did well from the middle onwards.I love the jazzy scat thing that he did, and its not easy. I think he will go on for another week because there were so many boring performances last night. Kath? What happened? Paris was ok, but I think this week we will see you go. But then she has nothing to worry coz Beyonce's dad is signing her as it is.

The Labour Day Aftermath

It felt like the longest fucking weekend ever. Partly my fault coz I have ten days of leave to clear so I took an extra 3 days off (Fri, Tues & Wed) anticipating that I will be totally exhausted by Tuesday. Long weekends are just crazy at this part of the world. We boys partied a wee bit more whole heartedly than usual.

We kicked off the weekend with my gig at Velvet. I had to say that the party was pretty well received. I was a little worried at first because I had to sort of tone down what I usually do because of Velvet's music policy. I mean it must be important for them right, if they had to call me on Friday to remind me that "No trance, no hard progressive house!". Haha, since when do I ever play trance? I've played for their Zouk parties before, so they should know. But well, I'm no superstar DJ so who cares really so I'm not surprised. I wish I could play some of my usual proggy stuff maybe towards the end coz you just gotta lift the night up a notch but since they said "no" I had to keep it funky - alternating between some electro infused anthems, funky driving bassliness, and of course some bootlegs to shock the crowd a bit. I knew that some boys felt unhappy but I'm sorry friends, I had to work within what's allowed of me. My set was only until 2 because they had scheduled Gabriel Chong to played from 2-3, so for what it was worth, the dancefloor was rocking during my set. Cher (the dj, not the singer) said he enjoyed the set so I was happy. Need to get used to the weird mixer though, the pitch controller was kinda having its own mind. Whoever that came to support, thanks a lot. I was very happy to see you there.n Hey Kev, thanks for the shot!

One more thing that I thought was kind of beautiful abt the night was the mixed crowd dancing side by side. I mean the gay boys and the straight crowd seem to be so lost in the music and they seem not to care what other people were doing on the dancefloor. I saw many people making out (ehem), gay and straight and no one seems to make a fuss. Now that's what I call One Nation Under A Groove. Maybe in a way that is a kind of progress. This is Malaysia after all. Maybe there is still hope for us.

Saturday & Sunday were spent partying at the Maydaze parties by Liquid and Princeworld. It was pretty good I'll say. I totally enjoyed myself. David S was alright even though he did play better when he was playing Indochine a few years back. Kate Monroe was pretty great and I was surprised that the boys were ok with her being so housey (and I get a lot of crap for that? Double standard! hehe. It's ok. Who am I to bitch.). Er, the highlight for the night for me was when I kinda made out with this someone that I didnt actually like - he's cute and all, but totally not my type, I was more surprised that it happened, but what the hell. I dont have to call him no? Eek. I feel so nasty. Sorry friend ( I cant even remember his name, how bad is that).

Monday was the best! We left for Villatab in Cherating abt 1pm on Monday. OMG I wished I had my camera with me coz the place is just gorgeous. The pool was to die for. Imagine being in that pool with the view of the blue sea. I spent most of my time under that gazebo listening to music from my laptop. I hope Ken took pictures of the venue coz none of us were taking any pics. I would like to come back and spend a few more days there one of these days. It was nice to see the couples that went totally soaking in the romance of that place. Sure wished I had someone special to watch the sunset with that day. Thank god it rained! So I didnt feel so bad. LOL. Gotta thank Ies for his generousness of heart for that holiday.

Wednesday? I was so tired. I slept the entire day off. Now I'm wide awake and even more tired. So you get an update on my escapade last weekend.

Next Velvet date is on the 19th. I will confirm with you guys again on the lineup. Here's hoping that more good things will happen.